Psychologists argue that the need to belong is our most deep rooted primary drive.  It's so strong, and so innate, that it will frequently over-ride other drivers - the drive to self actualisation, to independence of thought and action, even to basic physical safety and security.

 

It's no surprise, then, that both consciously and subconsciously, we seek belonging at work. 

 

The problem is that organisations aren't remotely equipped or designed to satisfy this need.  Or to recognise, acknowledge, and remedy things when it goes unmet.

 

Which is why we feel the betrayals so strongly. 

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In the same way that most adults can remember one stand-out moment when, as a child, they were belittled or humiliated by a teacher, betrayals at work strike hard, and deep into our memories.  They cut into our innate need to belong.  

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From repeated meeting cancellations, to receiving a public dressing down, we accumulate betrayals, large and small, as part of our daily work experience.  Mostly, they originate from higher-ups.

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Yet, like teachers, organisation leaders will routinely underestimate, or fully ignore their impact.  It's part of the inevitable friction of work.

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During organisation transformations, however, the stakes are much higher.  Especially when people have something to lose.

 

At the top, leaders have moved on.  The change has been communicated, other decisions are now more pressing.  Yet below them, people will still be nursing a sense of loss - lost alternative futures, lost structures, lost certainties.  

 

The longer such losses remain unacknowledged and unaddressed, the greater the risk of what Otto Scharmer calls the "voices of fear, doubt, and judgement" stalling and slowly undermining change.

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A leader's ability to listen, and close out the cycle and stories of loss, so they can guide the organisation to embrace the future, can become a mission-critical capability. 

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Creating a safe and boundary-ed space to put past betrayals behind them is an element we sometimes design in to large-group leadership development sessions.  From our experience, it can seed some of the most powerful mindset shifts that distributed leader groups need to make.